Ever since the corrupt leadership of North Korea stopped distributing wages and food, men’s role as breadwinners was upended and the family structure has altered. Wives tended to take on both roles, as breadwinners and homemakers because their husbands became unable to provide financial security for their families. North Korea has had a male-dominated family structure, where a man’s authority over his wife far exceeds what is seen in South Korea, where women are quite independent; marriage begins with a romantic relationship, and divorce is not such a disgrace. It was seen that female defectors have tended to exceed male defectors with respect to financial independence. For the latter, one of the main obstacles in cultural adaption is change in political ideology, which did not bother the former to the same extent. While the men struggled with ideological changes, the women approached their circumstances realistically and were more down to earth. In this study, three female defectors, aged 31, 42, and 53 years, participated and shared their stories. Throughout the interviews, they frequently compared their lives in both North and South Korea. The substantial differences between the two locations resulted in major frustration for them. While the participants experienced frustration with regard to their negotiations—or what is referred to as frustration-negotiation in this study—they developed their own sense of judgment and perspectives and began to modify their identities.